Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Randomize
