In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
