For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
