I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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