ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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