I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
