I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
