Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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