just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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