at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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