Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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