marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
