fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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