I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
