i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
