The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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