So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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