I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
