after a month anything with tits is on the radar
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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