What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
