Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
