Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
