plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I need moral support for this bender
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
