bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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