There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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