you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
