if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
you had me at cake vodka
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
