I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
