Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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