Pappa wants mamma naked
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
