He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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