The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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