I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
