i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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