We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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