A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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