Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
