just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
As shirtless as possible
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
