Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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