): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize