we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
