You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
