He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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