Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
