idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
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It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
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You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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