I just cut my nipple shaving
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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