I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
