Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
