Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
