what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize