Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I touched a dick in church today
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
