the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
