Welp...herpes.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
