after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
