I wish I could teleport
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize