Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
