i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
