she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
