I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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