I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Randomize
