He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
