What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
