In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
